Part 43
With the full confidence of meeting Anita the day after and
dreams of spending the rest of my life with her, I fell asleep. The exhaustion
and the mental stress of the day also played their part in my going into
dreamland within minutes of hitting the bed. When I woke up, the rays of the
sun were falling on my face, I looked out of the window and saw that it was bright
light outside, it dawned upon me that I had overslept. I looked at my watch, it
was nearly eight. No one had come to wake me up, which was surprising. Somebody
or the other always brought my morning cup of tea but today they seemed to have
forgotten me, how could they? I was about to shout in anger when the events of
the previous day flooded my mind. I had almost thought that I was back in
school and Khalid or some other domestic help would bring me tea. Reality can
hurt at times and it did hurt me at that time. Whatever had happened yesterday
could not be brushed aside as a rude dream which I had almost tried to do. In
spite of being fully aware of Khalid’s condition, I expected him to serve me
tea as usual. Selfishness thy name is Bittu, I thought!
I got up, and went downstairs, straight to the living room.
Babuji was reading the morning newspaper and Amma was in the kitchen.
“Where is Khalid?” I asked.
“Namaskar, lath sahib, so you finally woke up, I was sure
you wouldn’t get up before noon. But you made it by eight; I must congratulate
you on this superb achievement. Well done, son. By the way, do you by any
chance remember what happened yesterday?” This was Babuji at his sarcastic
best. He never scolded me, he was never rude to me but what he said just now
was worse than any tongue lashing I had ever received or would ever receive. It
was evident, Babuji was annoyed with me and he had every reason to be.
“Looking for Khalid, are you? He didn’t get you your tea
today, how irresponsible of him!”
“Babuji, please…….. I am sorry for getting up late and I
have not forgotten anything. How can I forget the condition Khalid was in
yesterday? Where is he? We must take him to a doctor”
“Oh, the doctor? Why, of course, how considerate of you to
remind me of such an important thing, I had not given it any thought at all but
Lord Bittu’s heart seems to be overflowing with kindness and love today, I am
impressed, I really am”
“Forget it, will you? My son has just got up and you have
started berating him for no fault of his. Poor, Bittuji, he is my darling boy.
Don’t mind what your Babuji says, you know it is his habit. Khalid has been
examined by the doctor. Babuji rang up, Dr. Wani and he hardly took any time in
reaching here. Do you remember the good doctor? He has been our family
physician for a long time. He said Khalid needs some rest, gave him some
medicines and said he would be fine by tomorrow. Thank god, no bones were
broken” Amma, as always, came to my rescue. She had been saving me from
Babuji’s wrath right from the beginning, so much so, that all my relatives
blamed her for having spoilt me.
I marveled at the strength of Babuji. He was old, he was
frail, at least he had looked very frail last night, he had gone through a very
tough day and yet he had got up early, had followed his normal routine and had
not forgotten to take care of Khalid. As a matter of fact, all this should not
have come as a surprise to me. I was quite familiar with the amazing strength
of his character. Babuji had put me to shame once again, he had, in a very
subtle manner, reminded me of my selfish and callous nature. While I had been
dreaming of Anita, Babuji was busy performing his duties as the head of the family,
duties that he had been performing for years and years. What kind of a man was I? Was I really
selfish? Had my heart become indifferent to everything and everybody except
Anita? They say love changes a person for the better but in my case love seemed
to have changed me for the worse! Bad, Bittu, very bad! There is still time.
Don’t allow Babuji and Amma to go through more pain than they already have. You
know very well that whatever Babuji is doing, he is doing it only for your
happiness. Neither Amma nor Babuji are happy at your marrying Anita and that
too in this manner. Bittu, if you really care for your grandparents, all you
have to do is ring up Anita and tell her not to come, tell her you cannot marry
her. It is not a very big sacrifice to make Bittu, not for the people who have
made you what you are! Everyone has deserted them and now you are also about to
do the same. Your marriage to Anita will break their hearts in more ways than
one.
The conflict within me continued for some time and
ultimately I convinced myself that I was not doing anything wrong. I had the
right to marry the girl of my choice; it was my life after all. Lalaji and
Bahuji had already accepted Anita as their daughter-in- law and, willingly or
unwillingly, Babuji and Amma had also given their consent. Babuji had gone so
far as to make arrangements for Anita’s stay in Srinagar and he was the one who
had taken it upon himself to get me married to my love. When had I forced
Babuji to do my bidding? When had I thrown any tantrums? Had I indulged in any
emotional blackmail? I had not wanted to tell Babuji about Anita but he had
forced the truth out of me. I had not asked him to talk to Suri Sahab, he had
done it on his on his own. His threats to Suri Sahab were made at his own
behest. If he had not rung up Chandigarh, there was no way of Anita being able
to tell me that she had decided to become a rebel and come to Kashmir. So why
should I feel guilty? In what way was I to blame? After winning the war with my
conscience, I felt relieved and once again looked forward to the morrow with
great expectations.
Breakfast was served by Amma. It was the usual kehva and
Kashmiri roti
“Who bought the rotis?” I asked, realizing that Khalid was
in no position to go to the market.
“Lath Sahab, do you think this house runs at your mercy? I
don’t depend on anyone and you know that very well. I thought you would have
the good sense to wake up early today and I waited till six thirty. When there
was no sign of you, I decided to go out myself. Your lordship, we are perfectly
capable of looking after ourselves, we don’t need any one, do you understand?”
Babuji was certainly not in a good mood today and he had decided to lose no
opportunity of taunting me. It would be prudent for me to keep out of his way
as much as I could.
“Babuji, is there a curfew today also?” I asked.
“Not that I know of but you can never tell. So far things
are peaceful but things change quickly out here, you know. People are still
very agitated over the police firing in which many innocent citizens lost their
lives, a couple of days back. The army seems to be bent upon showering bullets
on unarmed protesters and they don’t seem to care about the damage they are
causing to the social fabric of Kashmir. I am telling you, Bittu, if the Indian
government continues with its present ways, they are bound to create terrorists
where none exist and Kashmir will have a bloody future. I hope India comes to
its senses before things go totally out of control” Babuji spoke very
thoughtfully. Little did I know that these words of his would prove to be
prophetic!
I told Amma that I was not interested in having anything non
vegetarian that day and haakh and some dum aloo would do but she told me that
Babuji had already ordered mutton from the meat seller’s shop and he would
deliver it any time now.
“Babuji, can I go out today? I would like to meet some old
friends of mine”
“Where do your friends stay?”
“A couple of my friends stay in Raj Bagh. I will go and meet
them for a short while and be back before lunch time”
“You are not going anywhere today, Bittu. You will spend the
whole day at home. Abdul will come and inform you about the plans for tomorrow.
Do exactly as he asks you to. Trust him fully, do not for a moment doubt his
intentions. He will do whatever is best for you. I am telling you all this
because I know what lies you have been fed about Kashmiri Muslims. I know, that
like other Hindus, you also think that they, the Muslims, are out to kill us. I
want you to remove all such thoughts from your mind, if you haven’t done so already!
Do I make myself clear? Now go to your room and read one of your favourite
novels, the way you used to when you were in school” With these words, Babuji
left the room and did not give me time to respond.
I was left all alone in the room. Amma had gone to her puja
room where she used to spend at least an hour every day. This room was called
the Thokur Kuth and it was only meant for worshipping and nothing else. Amma
had great faith in her Thakur. I did not think it wise to disturb her so I went
up to my room. I knew it would be very tough for me to concentrate on any kind
of serious reading. I was very excited, very impatient. I wanted the day to
pass fast. I wanted to be there at the airport and take Anita into my arms. I
could not wait, I just could not wait.
The day passed at a snail’s pace for me and I hardly realized
when darkness surrounded me. I had made one trip downstairs for lunch, another
for tea and now I was getting ready to make my third trip, this time for
dinner.
As I was having my dinner, my thoughts were elsewhere. Abdul
sahib had not made an appearance so far. I was told that the morning flight
from Delhi, reached Srinagar by ten which meant we would have to leave for the
airport by nine. Had Abdul Sahab made all arrangements as he had promised he
would? So far I had no idea whatsoever. We finished our dinner and still no
signs of Abdul sahib. Babuji had asked me to trust him blindly and I had faith
in Babuji’s judgment. But why was Abdul sahib missing? By now he must have made
all the necessary arrangements then why was he not coming to inform us? I
decided to go to his place and find out for myself. I was about to open the
main gate, when it opened by itself and the man I had been waiting for was
standing before me.
“Where are Babuji and Amma?” This was his first question. I
told him they were in the living room.
“Let’s go quietly to the baithak, there are some important
things I want to discuss with you” He said, took me by the arm and led me to
the baithak.
“Sit down and listen to me” his tone sounded ominous.
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