Who Is She, Part 45

Sleep became my biggest enemy that night. I wanted to rid myself of all the negative thoughts that were plaguing me and sleep was the only way out but try as my might, i was unable to to even close my eyes. I don't remember how the night passed. All i recall was seeing a ray of light coming in through the window which happened to be just next to my bed. As soon as I looked out and saw the flicker of dawn in the air, i jumped out of the bed and, without even bothering to have a look at the watch, i rushed in to the bathroom to get ready. I had been asked to be ready by 8 and i had no intention of getting late, not even by a second.

I was all ready and dressed up by 7. I went downstairs and very quietly walked into the living room. Babuji was sitting in his favourite chair, fully dressed up for the day, as if he had an office to go to, but then this had been his habit for years and there was no way it was going to change. Amma was occupying her favourite corner and she was chopping vegetables.

"Khalid, bring breakfast for Bittu Ji", Amma shouted.

"Do you think he is worried about having breakfast, he has more interesting things to think about" Babuji remarked, without raising his head. He seemed to be reading the morning newspaper with great interest, as was his wont. Not even once did he look at me. There was no doubt in my mind that Babuji's  was more occupied with my my problems than with the problems of the world. His trying to concentrate hard on the newspaper was just a pretence.

" Babu Ji, we will all have breakfast together, won't we?" I asked , rather, hesitantly.
"Do you know what time it is, Bittu Ji? Just look at the clock behind you, it is only 7, have we ever had breakfast this early?"  A tinge of anger in his voice? Or was it just my imagination?
" Don't shout at him," It was Amma coming to my rescue as she had always done. " You know he has to leave early today so naturally he will eat early, what is there to get annoyed about?" Babuji gave her an angry look but did not say anything.
In the meantime, i was getting more and more restless. I had absolutely no interest in eating. All i wanted was for eight O'Clock to strike, for the cab to come and for Abdul Sahib to take me along. My nerves were reaching a breaking point, i had not slept a single wink the whole night but sleep was the last thing on my mind.
Kahalid entered with my breakfast. Kashmiri Rotis with scrambled eggs. Amma knew and so did Khalid, how much I loved scrambeled eggs with rotis but today I was least interested. No hunger, no greed. But I knew i would have to eat, Amma would not let me leave without having something solid go into my stomach. I pounced on the breakfast like a hungry cat but the pouncing was the result of my impatience to get it out of the way so that I could concentrate on the one thing that was on my mind that morning.
"Look, How hungry he was, and you were saying, he had no interest in eating." Said, Amma, looking straight at Babuji, who did not bother to react in anyway, either with a word or with an action.
Amma was busy chopping vegetables for lunch, surely thinking of cooking something nice for me and of course, for her daughter-in law, or  soon to be one.
" Bittu Ji, are you ready?" I literally jumped out of my chair. Abdul sahib had finally come. I glanced at the clock behind me, although i was wearing a wrist watch, and saw it was five minutes to eight.
I was in the act of getting up, when Abdul Sahib entered the room. He was dressed up in a perfectly tailored navy blue suit, an off white shirt and a red neck tie. I looked at him with astonishment. I had never seen him wear a suit ever before. It seemed meeting Anita was a big event for him and he wanted to create a good impression. It was mean of me to think like that at that time but it was just a passing thought.
" Adaab, Abdul, so you have come to satisfy the wishes of this lordly prince" Babuji said, but this time it was almost in good humour.
" How could I think of of not doing so, Babuji?" Abdul Sahab answered with a twinkle in his eyes.. I wondered if both of them were making a fool of me, whether this was just charade being played out to keep me away from throwing one of  my famous tantrums. But then, i remembered that my tantrums were a thing of the past,, that I was no longer a kid,
"Bittu, let's go, it is time for us to leave, we might get late otherwise".No Ji after Bittu, an omen of things to come? I quickly brushed these thoughts aside. As a matter of fact, why should the Ji be added to my name at all and why should someone elder to me use Ji for me at all. Just because, i was used to these Kashmiri traditions or practices, did not mean that I should expect everyone to address me as Bittu Ji..
" Abdul, take care of him, he is still a kid, you know", Amma said with a slight touch of apprehension in her voice.
" Don't worry, Amma, i will bring him back along with your future nosh"(daughter-in-law)
"Ghasiv, Khodayas hawala" Babuji said but he did not look at me, not even a glance towards me.
So we left. The cab was waiting outside , on the road, a white Ambassador. .Those days these cars were either used as taxis or allotted to senior government officials including ministers. . The driver was a pleasant young fellow, he smiled at me and shook me by the hand.
" Don't worry, I will take you to the airport, just relax", He said in a pleasant tone. Encouraging words for me.
 Abdul sahib sat by the side of the driver and asked me to take the back seat. He also told me that no one should know we were in a taxi, he was going to say it was his car. I did not understand  this subterfuge nor did I want to. All I was interested in was reaching the airport and taking Anita into my arms.
 We drove on completely deserted roads, the only people visible were the soldiers, heavily armed. The very sight of them scared me. I had not forgotten what they had done to Khalid and what they would have done to me had Khalid not intervened.
 We left Karan Nagar and soon entered Shaheed Ganj, the place which was supposed to be the den of the so called trouble makers. There was no one on the roads, except army men, and they seemed to be everywhere.
We had reached the Old secretariat building, when, suddenly a couple of soldiers blocked our way and asked us to stop.
" It s curfew time, don't you know that, how dare you violate the curfew?" asked one of the soldiers.
 Abdul Sahab, looked at me, conveyed with his eyes that I should not say or do anything. he was telling me to just stay put.
 Getting out of the car, Abdul Sahib shook hands with one of the soldiers and they started walking away from the car. The importance of the suit dawned upon me just at that time. The soldier was unusually respectful towards Abdul sahab and the impeccable suit had a lot to do with it. The two talked for sometime, the soldier took out a piece of paper from his pocket and gave it to Abdul Sahab. He also said something over his walkie talkie.
Soon, Abdul Sahib was back in his seat, grinning from ear to ear.
" Nobody is going to stop us now, We have got a curfew pass and moreover, the forces ahead have been given the registration number of this car and they will allow us to go right up to the airport building"
" How did you manage all this, Abdul sahab?", I asked somewhat incredulously.
" You don't know me Bittu Ji, I can manage a lot of things. If Babuji sent you with me, he did so because he knew what I was capable of".
 After that, it was an uneventful ride. We were not stopped by anyone. We reached the point where the blockade had been set up and everyone was supposed to walk it from there. Abdul sahab took out a piece of paper from his pocket and showed it to the guard. He looked at it and waved us through. We drove down right up to the entrance to the arrival lounge.
" There is time for the flight to arrive, it should be here in another ten minutes." Abdul Sahab remarked.
I could only nod my head. There was nothing else I could do. Suddenly I heard a roar. I looked out of the car window, the plane was was clearly visible and it was getting ready to land.
Oh god, let my Anita be there on the  plane, please god please ... I kept on praying with my eyes closed. Not a great believer but at that time God seemed to be my only ray of hope,
The plane landed.
"I doubt if your Anita must be carrying much of a luggage with her, so she should be among the first ones to come out. You get out of the car and stand near the exit so you can see her, go"
I got out, there was chill in the air , my legs felt heavy under me. Tension started mounting. Will she or won't she? That was the question. Suddenly, people started coming out and my heart started beating faster and faster, My eyes were riveted to the exit gate, looking for a lone young girl but i could not spot anyone even faintly resembling Anita. As a matter of fact,  there seemed to be no women at all. It appeared to be an all men's flight. My hopes started crashing but then a thought struck me, so far only those passengers had come out who were carrying only hand baggage, Anita might be carrying something heavier.

Who Is She, part 44

Part 44
Abdul sahib made me sit down. He sat beside me. My heart was pounding against my chest, i had the feeling that he was going to tell me something disastrous, may be, he had got some news which i had not heard of, may be, Babuji had asked him to tell me what Babuji himself did not have the courage to do. I sat there quietly, looking at him with terrified apprehension. I had absolutely no idea what he was going to say but the look on his face told me that whatever it was , it was not going to be something i would be thrilled about.
" Bitto ji, i don't know if what is happening is good or not. I have no idea whether what you are doing is right or wrong. I am helping you only because of your grandfather, he has been a tremendous influence on all of us. We all respect him. He asked me for help and that is exactly what i am going to do even though i know it is going to be very risky" Abdul sahib said these words with a stern look on his face, a look which i had never seen before.
I listened to him quietly, there was nothing i could say.
" I have no idea if your Anita is going to come tomorrow. Frankly speaking, i hope she doesn't, because her presence is going to create problems for all of us. Even though you are grown up now, your obstinacy remains the same. it is this stubbornness of yours which has made your doting grandparents agree to fulfil your foolish desires". He continued in the same tone. He had never spoken to me in this kind of an almost angry way. My fears kept on growing. He was the one who was supposed to take me to the airport the next morning. Without his help, i had no way of reaching the airport. It was beginning to dawn upon me that Abdul Sahib was going to say that he would not help me or he could not.
" Bittu Ji, the flight arrives at 9 in the morning, which means we must leave home by 8." His tone had softened a little , giving me some hope.
" I have called for a taxi, the owner is known to me, that is why he is sending it, otherwise no cabdriver would agree to go the airport tomorrow. Do you know there is a complete curfew tomorrow, a curfew imposed by the government? all vehicles will be stopped. We have hope because the security forces might let us go as we are going to receive someone and also because you are a Kashmiri Pandit. Like it or not, they are sympathetic towards you people" I could notice a slight tinge of anger in his voice when he uttered the last few words.
" Bittu, pay heed to my words", i noticed the dropping of the Ji after my name. Another ominous sign? I did not know.
' You and i will leave at 8 in the morning", he continued. All this time, i had been sitting and listening to him like a man hypnotised with fear. not a word escaped my lips.
" Since the normal route to the airport has been closed, we have to take the only open route. And this route goes through Shaheed Ganj which is one of the most affected areas, an area where people take out processions everyday, an area which has a heavy presence of army men.Keep in mind that we are going to be confronted by twin dangers, one from the army and the other from the local people" As he said these words, whatever hope i had in my heart, started evaporating. How was it possible to reach the airport with so many obstacles on the way?
" On the way to the airport, we shall be stopped, asked questions, we shall be searched, maybe even detained. Allah alone knows what may happen. No matter what happens, you just keep quiet. Don't utter a single word. just let me do the talking and for god's sake keep your temper under control, understand?"
I could only nod my head in agreement.
" Bittu Ji, lots of changes have taken place since you were here last." I could not help but notice the return of Ji after Bittu. Was it something to cheer about? " The airport that you saw last time is not the same. It is heavily blockaded. Armed forces everywhere.We have to get down from our car almost a kilometre away from the airport and walk the rest of the way, understand?"
 Again i just nodded, waiting for what was going to come next.
" We will be reaching the airport building on foot. We will not be able to enter. The passengers will come out of the building and it is for you to find out your Anita amongst them all and once you find her, there will be no further problems. I am confident we shall reach home safely. Now go to sleep, remember what i said and for your sake, i sincerely hope this Anita of yours is really on that flight". With these words, he got up, so did i. He turned around and started walking towards the door. As he was about to exit, he did an about turn, came up to me and hugged me tightly. he didn't say a word but that hug, by itself spoke volumes.
Slowly i made my way back to my room. I walked soundlessly, did not want to disturb Babuji and Amma. As soon as i entered my room, i flung myself onto the bed. All my pent up emotions burst forth. I started sobbing uncontrollably. I had managed to keep myself calm in the presence of Abdul Sahib but i could no longer do so. My whole body shook with the force of my sobs bur who was there to hear me, who was there to listen to me. i was all alone, waiting for an uncertain morning, a morning which was would be fraught with all kinds of risks. There was little i could do. I had brought this all upon myself. There was no way sleep would come to me. All i could think of was if we would manage to reach the airport and if Anita would come at all.