Who is she,part 21

Part 21

“Thank god, it is you. I have been looking for you madly, my love, where have you been?”

“Slow down, Baitu, don’t speak so excitedly that I am unable to understand what you are saying”

“Sweetheart, you don’t know the hell I have been going through, I heard stories about your getting engaged and to top it all, there was no word from you” I told her everything, including my visit to Chandigarh and the meeting with Urmila. I did not mention Urmila’s saying that she was not capable of loving anyone. I had no interest in creating a rift between two sisters.

“Baitu, my darling, I understand everything. I don’t know how my father came to know about us, somebody must have told him but I have no idea who it might be. The long and short of it is that a frantic search has been launched for a suitable boy for me, restrictions have been imposed upon me, I can’t leave home unescorted, my going to the university has also been stopped. It has been one hell of a torture for me and I have no idea how long it will carry on. It is lucky that you called me up at a time when no one is at home, this happens very rarely. Thank god, you rang me up; I was desperate to talk to you. Oh, my love, I cannot live without you” I could hear her sobbing although she was trying her best to control herself. Tears welled up in my eyes also. The booth owner was staring at me but I cared two hoots for what he might or might not think.

“Anita, darling, no tears please. We love each other so why worry?” I was also worried but I did not want to tell her so.

“I know you are tense, I know you are worried about losing me. You can’t hide your feelings from me, darling. My mother must be coming back at any moment so listen to me carefully. No matter how much torture I am subjected to, I am not going to marry anyone else. You may hear rumours but do not believe a single one of them. As soon as you get a job, we will get married whether my parents agree or not, remember these words of mine because God knows when we will be able to talk again”

“Anita, there is one more thing I want to tell you. I am going to Kashmir:

Kashmir?  Are you mad? People are being killed over there, don’t you know that? You are not going to Kashmir, is that clear?”  I told her why it was necessary for me to go, gave her all the details and after listening to me, she calmed down.

“How will I know whether you are alright or not, as long as you are away in Kashmir, I will be so worried that by the time you come back, I might have become a nervous wreck. Please co…”the phone got disconnected. Her mother or someone else must have come back. I dropped down the receiver. The man at the booth was giving me weird looks.

“Is everything alright, Lalit? Seems to be some girl problem, isn’t it?”

“It is none of your business. How much?” I paid him the money and headed for home. I was feeling somewhat relieved now. Anita would be waiting for me when I came back from Kashmir. I already had a job offer in hand, I would take up that job and we would become husband and wife. With these pleasant thoughts in my mind, I entered my home.

Plans for my Kashmir visit had already been made. I was to leave for Jammu in the night and go straight to Bhaisahab’s place (Bhaisahab was my father’s younger brother. He had been staying in Jammu for a long time; in fact he had a house of his own in Jammu. Everyone in the family called him Bhaisahab, whether he was elder to him or younger to him) the next morning we were going to take a taxi for Srinagar. I said ‘we’ because Bhaisahab was going to accompany me. Why couldn’t Bhaisahab go by himself or for that matter why couldn’t my father go? Why send me? I was sure, if both the brothers went together, their parents would not say no to them. Why bank upon me? I did not possess a magic wand which I would wave and my grandparents would immediately come with me. I had become so enmeshed in conspiracy theories that I smelt a conspiracy in this plan also. Did my parents want me out of the way till Anita’s marriage? Were they scared Mr. Suri would cause some physical harm to me? It was a distinct possibility, wasn’t it? Why were they not afraid of sending me to Kashmir? My father himself said that Kashmir was unsafe for Kashmiri Pandits. Why was he throwing me into the lion’s den? Of course, why should he care for me? I was not his son in the real sense of the term. He just happened to be my biological father and that was it. My real father was in Srinagar. All these thoughts kept plaguing me; I thought I was going mad. Signs of paranoia, weren’t they? Everybody who sent me further away from Anita was my enemy. Hey, Bittu, get hold of yourself. What the hell are you thinking? You yourself admitted that Anita’s love had blinded you to everything else and by these thoughts you are proving yourself right. Damn it, why was I thinking all this? How could I doubt my parents’ love for me? I must stop such thoughts from clouding my mind. I must! I must!

Somehow I managed to get rid of these thoughts and started preparing for my departure. I did not move a finger. Ravi and my mother did all the packing for me.

“His royal Highness will not even take the trouble of keeping his toothbrush, now how do we know which one belongs to the king?” My brother was at his sarcastic best.

Immediately after having my dinner, I left. My mother was in tears as she hugged me good bye and surprise of surprises, I could see traces of a tear or two in the eyes of my stoic brother also! The bus for Jammu left at 11pm and my father had booked me seats in an air conditioned bus. I was touched. My father did care for me, after all. It was the last week of August, monsoons had set in and the humidity levels were very high. I made myself comfortable in my seat and as soon as the bus left, I was fast asleep. All my worries and woes seemed to have left me, at least for some time. I woke up only when the conductor shook me by the shoulders and told me that we had reached Jammu.

I looked at my watch. It was exactly 5am. We were to leave for Srinagar at 8. I took an auto rickshaw and reached my uncle’s place at 5.15. My uncle and aunt were waiting for me. My uncle had a suitcase by his side. He was all set for the trip. Although my uncle was basically lazy, when it came to journeys, he would always be ready well before time. He had some kind of a phobia of missing trains and busses but today we were travelling by a taxi, the taxi would come to pick us up, was he scared that the taxi might leave him behind. The thought brought a smile to my lips.

I took a bath, had a delicious breakfast of Kashmiri Rotis along with scrambled eggs. I loved Kashmiri Rotis. We didn’t get them in Amritsar. It was almost 8 by the time I ate my last piece of roti. Soon, we could hear the sound of a horn. The taxi was here.

“Let’s go, let’s go, no time to waste” Bhaisahab was behaving as if the taxi driver would leave for Srinagar without us. Again I smiled.

It was an Ambassador car. The driver opened the rear door for us and we entered. The driver’s name was Rasool, he was a Kashmiri Muslim. I waved to my aunt and we were on our way to Srinagar. Little did I know that my whole world would have changed by the time I returned!