The Jeep drove through the lanes of Karan Nagar. The driver seemed to be in some kind of a hurry. he was really driving fast. He could afford to as the roads were totally deserted, just a few people here and there, mostly people carrying bags of rotis for breakfast. I had no idea where they were taking me, had no clue where the headquarters were and had no interest in knowing. I sat, holding my head in my hands, in complete despair. What had promised to be the beginning of wonderful day for me had turned into a nightmare. Anita must be waiting for me. In another half an hour's time I would have had her in my arms but here I was in the arms of these monsters, that is what they appeared to me at that time..What would Anita think when I failed to make an appearance at the appointed hour?What would Prakash do? they would wait for an hour at the most and then ring up my home. I wondered what Babu Ji would tell him. I had absolutely no idea whether anyone had seen me being taken away by the army. Although, I had shouted out to Babu Ji, I had no way of knowing whether he had heard me. I hadn't noticed any kind of vehicle outside the gate which meant that the taxi had not come till then. nobody had seen me being taken away so they would presume I had gone to the hotel as planned. eventually they would come to know, they must have come to know by now that I had not gone to the hotel The Taxi must have arrived and that would be enough for them to know that something was amiss, but would they assume i had been forcibly taken away by the forces? They might think that I had been so impatient to meet Anita and had left on my own. Nobody had any reason whatsoever to think that I was in the custody of the army, So help would not be coming, at least, not for quite some time.
My reverie was broken by the screeching of the brakes as the car came to a sudden halt, I looked out and saw we were still in Karan Nagar,, very close to Kaka Sarai, a neighbouring colony. Almost all the houses bore a deserted look, Doors shut, windows closed, no activity of any kind, clearly suggesting there was no one inside these houses. The two soldiers who had been sitting across me, pushed me out of the jeep, they gave me such a shove that I stumbled and would have fallen face down on the road had I not somehow managed to maintain my balance. They took me to a huge house to the right of the road. All houses were huge, there was hardly any house in Karan Nagar of less than three stories but this house was bigger than the others. It belonged to the Kauls, the well known businessmen of Kashmir, they were supposed to be very rich, Sandeep Kaul, had been a close friend, he was one of the sons of the family, I used to visit his place often and we had played a lot of cricket on the huge lawn inside. As i looked up at the house, rather listlessly, I noticed it was in a very poor shape. All the windows were open, most of the broken, the boundary walls had been pulled down and the walls had been replaced by bunkers manned by gun holding army men. The place seemed like a war zone and it scared me.I was taken through the open gate, sorry the missing gate, the two soldiers by my side holding me tightly by the arms as if I would try to escape, They knew I had no chance of even thinking of an escape and yet they were behaving like they had a dangerous terrorist in their custody. We went inside the house, and i was pushed into a room, a big room, it had been the main drawing room of the house, expensive furniture had adorned the room, furniture made out of walnut wood but now the room was completely bare. The only furniture was a big office table, an executive chair and couple of ordinary wooden chairs. Behind the table, sat a handsome broad shouldered man, I could see that he was a captain.
"Sir, here he is, sir" The use of 'sir' twice in a very short sentence, army rules or mere sycophancy, i wondered.
" You can go now" the captain ordered.
" Sir" they shouted in unison, made an about turn and left. The captain and I were all alone in the big room.
Without bothering to seek permission, I sat down on the first chair I saw. My temper had started rising. I was in no mood for any kind of politeness.
"Why have you brought me here? Am I under arrest? What are the charges against me? What have I done? I have a right to know." I almost shouted.
" Don't raise your voice, Rahul, that is your name, isn't it? You are in an army camp, a camp set up to protect the country from traitors, from all those who are a threat to the unity and the integrity of India," I looked at him closely. There was an intense look in his eyes. He would make a perfect politician, the way he used these cliches.
" What am I supposed to be, a traitor?" I asked, rather belligerently.
" I would surely call you one, the way you have been hobnobbing with enemies of the nation." He took out a cigarette, lit it with a very expensive looking lighter and took a deep puff, and threw out rings of smoke, the way film actors do. His must have nourished a desire to join the films but somehow landed in the army. The cancer stick was doing him harm but he was least concerned about exposing me to the danger of passive smoking. Callous man.
" Hobnobbing with the enemies of the nation? Great use of words, captain but that is what they are, mere words and nothing else. You must have picked them up from some Hollywood flick, I know you people are very fond of watching English movies or so I heard, right captain?" There was no fear in my heart now, all I wanted was to get back at these people for having prevented me from meeting my love. How could I forgive them? I knew what was in store for me. They would soon take me to a small room, start questioning me and without waiting for my answers , would start lashing out at me with their hands, feet and other weapons. I recalled the state Khalid had walked into the house after having spent a night in this place. I was sure my condition would be worse.
" Mind your language, Rahul and don't talk to me like that. Don't forget you are speaking to an officer of the Indian Army."
" How can I forget , captain? Only you people are capable of hounding innocent men. I had heard lots of stories about the way you deal with the local people here, at first I never believed any of them. Then came the Khalid incident, you know Khalid, don't you captain? And now this. I have no doubt in my mind that I am talking to an officer of the glorious Indian army. Now, would you mind telling me why I am here?" There was anger in my voice and sarcasm in my words which the captain must not have missed at all.
" Don't you dare talk to me like that, Rahul and don't insult the Indian Army. The army is here for a specific purpose. Kashmir is in danger. The people her are anti Indian, they are all Pakistanis at heart. They want to go with Pakistan and we cannot allow that. We have to teach them a lesson, such a lesson that they will forget the very existence of Pakistan. And, I don't understand one thing, why are you sympathetic towards them? You had to leave your homes because of them. Your people are rotting and dying in various migrant camps in Jammu, all because of these locals and yet you support them. You are behaving like a traitor to your own people" The captain almost shouted out all this.
" Captain, they do not want Pakistan, you are woefully mistaken about what they really want. You know very well they are asking or demanding independence. Is there anything wrong in asking for freedom, it is their right, isn't it? Anyway, I don't want to get into all this , just tell me the reason you have brought me here."
" Your words betray you. You clearly support these locals and who knows you might be a part of some terrorist outfit. We have to find that out , haven't we, Rahul? We have brought you here because we suspect you of harbouring terrorists and helping them in their nefarious designs."
" What nonsense, me and helping the terrorists, how dare you make such a charge against me? I am against all forms of violence. I have been a great fan of Gandhi and I strongly believe in non violence. I hope the soldiers know who Gandhi was, I am sure a lot of them must not have even heard of him." I said with heavy sarcasm.
"Don't teach Gandhi to me, you idiot. If we follow Gandhi, we will all be dead. I don't want to waste time with you, I have more important things to do. At present I have to leave immediately. We have information that a family has given shelter to some militants, so we are going to raid that house. You will stay here till I come back. A team of officers will question you and find out who your contacts are. Once they are done with you, you will be singing like a canary, yes you will" He lay back in the chair and stared laughing.
I had no doubt in my mind what he meant. they were planning to torture me, I had read about the way people were tortured, I had heard lots of stories about how merciless these people could be, I had also heard that a lot of people had died during interrogation. I will not say that I wasn't sacred. I was terrified. More so, as I had nothing to tell them. I did not know a single militant, I had no idea about what they were planning and these people would not believe me and keep on beating me till I told them something, but what could I tell them? I started shivering. Was it because of the cold or was it because of fear? I told myself, it was the former. I was not a coward, had never been one. I wanted to believe I was a hero, Heroes can never be cowards.
The captain called one of his juniors and asked him or ordered him to take me inside, I thought I was already inside so which inside was the captain talking of? I would soon know the answer. A tall soldier, I had not seen him earlier, yanked me off the chair, held me by the arm and dragged me out of the room. I was taken to the first floor and throw into a room. Ironically, it happened to be Sandeep's room where we had spent wonderful moments together, talked, laughed, played cards, carom, chess and other games. It had been a very aesthetically furnished room. I always used to envy the beautifully designed writing table , the book shelves, the ornate bed by the side of the window, the posters of Sandeep's favourite film stars and cricketers ordaining the wall but as I looked around, there was nothing. the room was completely bare, not even a chair, just the worn out carpet on which I had fallen down when pushed hard by that tall soldier
I got up, in a daze, walked up to the window. I looked out , expecting to see the lush green lawn and the flower beds all around it but all I could see bunkers and sand banks with soldiers everywhere. Nobody could have ever imagined that there had ever been anything else there. Dismayed further by what I saw, I walked to a corner of the room and sat down, resting my back against the wall. I had no idea how much time had elapsed since I had been yanked away from my house. Suddenly, I remembered I had a watch. I looked at it, it showed 11.25. Anita had expected me at the hotel around 8. What must she be thinking ? Prakash, I was sure would have had talk with Babu Ji and I wondered whether Babu Ji had any idea where I was. Prakash's phone call would have told them that I had not reached the hotel, so all of them, Babu Ji, Amma, Khalid and Abdul Sahib must be worried. Considering the present atmosphere in the city, i was sure, they must be very tense indeed. How would they know where I was, who would tell them? Had the taxi come? If it had. it must have come after my disappearance. The taxi driver could have only told them that he had not seen me. I supposed they would wait for sometime and then go to the police. Would the police be able to locate me? I doubted it. The police hardly ever knew what the army was up to. Here I was in the clutches of the army with no hopes of any one coming to my rescue. Despair hit me hard. I would have been with Anita, I should have been with her but instead here I was sitting on the carpet of an empty room with no immediate hope of getting out of there. And then there was the fear, the fear of the door opening, army men rushing in and trying to beat the hell out of me. I glanced at the door but it was still closed. I lay there for a long time, don't remember how long, when the door opened. I looked fearfully at the man standing there. he was alone and he had a plate in his hand, a plate full of food. He put it down in front of me and left without saying a word.
I was not hungry at all, how could I be? But I couldn't help taking a look at the plate. There was some rice, just a little bit, by my standards, a couple of chapatis, a bowl of dal and some vegetables. If I had been hungry, I wouldn't have bothered to touch the plate.There was nothing in it which would have tempted my taste buds. In any case, the fact was, I had no desire for food.
I have no idea how long I sat there, thinking, my thoughts flitting like a butterfly, moving around from one place to another but mostly focused around Anita. In a few days time, we were going to get married, She had specially come all the way from Chandigarh, having full faith in me, trusting me fully, believing in me and here I was, sitting helplessly, unable to do anything.
Time passed by, I waited for my inquisitors to arrive but none came. Somebody came with a cup of tea, not Kehwa but Lipton Tea, as we, Kashmiris used to call it. Kehwa and Noon Chai were Kashmiri teas and the others were all Lipton, no matter which brand they might be. I could feel rumblings inside my stomach so I picked up the cup and drained it empty, almost in one gulp, it was not even hot. I thought of having a chapati and tried to pick one only to see that the plate was no longer there. Obviously, the person who brought the tea, had taken it away. No matter how sad, how depressed you are, you cannot survive without food for long. I had so much on my mind yet the pangs of hunger could not be driven away.
It started getting dark, there was no light in the room. I got up to switch on the lights but there seemed to be no power or maybe there were no electric bulbs in the room. It was too dark for me to check. This room must have been used only for interrogation so they did not feel the necessity of lights, Keeping a man in the dark is also a form of torture. I was in the dark, both literally as well as figuratively. Darkness increased my pain., made me feel more and more miserable. Would I ever be able to get out of here?
My reverie was broken by the screeching of the brakes as the car came to a sudden halt, I looked out and saw we were still in Karan Nagar,, very close to Kaka Sarai, a neighbouring colony. Almost all the houses bore a deserted look, Doors shut, windows closed, no activity of any kind, clearly suggesting there was no one inside these houses. The two soldiers who had been sitting across me, pushed me out of the jeep, they gave me such a shove that I stumbled and would have fallen face down on the road had I not somehow managed to maintain my balance. They took me to a huge house to the right of the road. All houses were huge, there was hardly any house in Karan Nagar of less than three stories but this house was bigger than the others. It belonged to the Kauls, the well known businessmen of Kashmir, they were supposed to be very rich, Sandeep Kaul, had been a close friend, he was one of the sons of the family, I used to visit his place often and we had played a lot of cricket on the huge lawn inside. As i looked up at the house, rather listlessly, I noticed it was in a very poor shape. All the windows were open, most of the broken, the boundary walls had been pulled down and the walls had been replaced by bunkers manned by gun holding army men. The place seemed like a war zone and it scared me.I was taken through the open gate, sorry the missing gate, the two soldiers by my side holding me tightly by the arms as if I would try to escape, They knew I had no chance of even thinking of an escape and yet they were behaving like they had a dangerous terrorist in their custody. We went inside the house, and i was pushed into a room, a big room, it had been the main drawing room of the house, expensive furniture had adorned the room, furniture made out of walnut wood but now the room was completely bare. The only furniture was a big office table, an executive chair and couple of ordinary wooden chairs. Behind the table, sat a handsome broad shouldered man, I could see that he was a captain.
"Sir, here he is, sir" The use of 'sir' twice in a very short sentence, army rules or mere sycophancy, i wondered.
" You can go now" the captain ordered.
" Sir" they shouted in unison, made an about turn and left. The captain and I were all alone in the big room.
Without bothering to seek permission, I sat down on the first chair I saw. My temper had started rising. I was in no mood for any kind of politeness.
"Why have you brought me here? Am I under arrest? What are the charges against me? What have I done? I have a right to know." I almost shouted.
" Don't raise your voice, Rahul, that is your name, isn't it? You are in an army camp, a camp set up to protect the country from traitors, from all those who are a threat to the unity and the integrity of India," I looked at him closely. There was an intense look in his eyes. He would make a perfect politician, the way he used these cliches.
" What am I supposed to be, a traitor?" I asked, rather belligerently.
" I would surely call you one, the way you have been hobnobbing with enemies of the nation." He took out a cigarette, lit it with a very expensive looking lighter and took a deep puff, and threw out rings of smoke, the way film actors do. His must have nourished a desire to join the films but somehow landed in the army. The cancer stick was doing him harm but he was least concerned about exposing me to the danger of passive smoking. Callous man.
" Hobnobbing with the enemies of the nation? Great use of words, captain but that is what they are, mere words and nothing else. You must have picked them up from some Hollywood flick, I know you people are very fond of watching English movies or so I heard, right captain?" There was no fear in my heart now, all I wanted was to get back at these people for having prevented me from meeting my love. How could I forgive them? I knew what was in store for me. They would soon take me to a small room, start questioning me and without waiting for my answers , would start lashing out at me with their hands, feet and other weapons. I recalled the state Khalid had walked into the house after having spent a night in this place. I was sure my condition would be worse.
" Mind your language, Rahul and don't talk to me like that. Don't forget you are speaking to an officer of the Indian Army."
" How can I forget , captain? Only you people are capable of hounding innocent men. I had heard lots of stories about the way you deal with the local people here, at first I never believed any of them. Then came the Khalid incident, you know Khalid, don't you captain? And now this. I have no doubt in my mind that I am talking to an officer of the glorious Indian army. Now, would you mind telling me why I am here?" There was anger in my voice and sarcasm in my words which the captain must not have missed at all.
" Don't you dare talk to me like that, Rahul and don't insult the Indian Army. The army is here for a specific purpose. Kashmir is in danger. The people her are anti Indian, they are all Pakistanis at heart. They want to go with Pakistan and we cannot allow that. We have to teach them a lesson, such a lesson that they will forget the very existence of Pakistan. And, I don't understand one thing, why are you sympathetic towards them? You had to leave your homes because of them. Your people are rotting and dying in various migrant camps in Jammu, all because of these locals and yet you support them. You are behaving like a traitor to your own people" The captain almost shouted out all this.
" Captain, they do not want Pakistan, you are woefully mistaken about what they really want. You know very well they are asking or demanding independence. Is there anything wrong in asking for freedom, it is their right, isn't it? Anyway, I don't want to get into all this , just tell me the reason you have brought me here."
" Your words betray you. You clearly support these locals and who knows you might be a part of some terrorist outfit. We have to find that out , haven't we, Rahul? We have brought you here because we suspect you of harbouring terrorists and helping them in their nefarious designs."
" What nonsense, me and helping the terrorists, how dare you make such a charge against me? I am against all forms of violence. I have been a great fan of Gandhi and I strongly believe in non violence. I hope the soldiers know who Gandhi was, I am sure a lot of them must not have even heard of him." I said with heavy sarcasm.
"Don't teach Gandhi to me, you idiot. If we follow Gandhi, we will all be dead. I don't want to waste time with you, I have more important things to do. At present I have to leave immediately. We have information that a family has given shelter to some militants, so we are going to raid that house. You will stay here till I come back. A team of officers will question you and find out who your contacts are. Once they are done with you, you will be singing like a canary, yes you will" He lay back in the chair and stared laughing.
I had no doubt in my mind what he meant. they were planning to torture me, I had read about the way people were tortured, I had heard lots of stories about how merciless these people could be, I had also heard that a lot of people had died during interrogation. I will not say that I wasn't sacred. I was terrified. More so, as I had nothing to tell them. I did not know a single militant, I had no idea about what they were planning and these people would not believe me and keep on beating me till I told them something, but what could I tell them? I started shivering. Was it because of the cold or was it because of fear? I told myself, it was the former. I was not a coward, had never been one. I wanted to believe I was a hero, Heroes can never be cowards.
The captain called one of his juniors and asked him or ordered him to take me inside, I thought I was already inside so which inside was the captain talking of? I would soon know the answer. A tall soldier, I had not seen him earlier, yanked me off the chair, held me by the arm and dragged me out of the room. I was taken to the first floor and throw into a room. Ironically, it happened to be Sandeep's room where we had spent wonderful moments together, talked, laughed, played cards, carom, chess and other games. It had been a very aesthetically furnished room. I always used to envy the beautifully designed writing table , the book shelves, the ornate bed by the side of the window, the posters of Sandeep's favourite film stars and cricketers ordaining the wall but as I looked around, there was nothing. the room was completely bare, not even a chair, just the worn out carpet on which I had fallen down when pushed hard by that tall soldier
I got up, in a daze, walked up to the window. I looked out , expecting to see the lush green lawn and the flower beds all around it but all I could see bunkers and sand banks with soldiers everywhere. Nobody could have ever imagined that there had ever been anything else there. Dismayed further by what I saw, I walked to a corner of the room and sat down, resting my back against the wall. I had no idea how much time had elapsed since I had been yanked away from my house. Suddenly, I remembered I had a watch. I looked at it, it showed 11.25. Anita had expected me at the hotel around 8. What must she be thinking ? Prakash, I was sure would have had talk with Babu Ji and I wondered whether Babu Ji had any idea where I was. Prakash's phone call would have told them that I had not reached the hotel, so all of them, Babu Ji, Amma, Khalid and Abdul Sahib must be worried. Considering the present atmosphere in the city, i was sure, they must be very tense indeed. How would they know where I was, who would tell them? Had the taxi come? If it had. it must have come after my disappearance. The taxi driver could have only told them that he had not seen me. I supposed they would wait for sometime and then go to the police. Would the police be able to locate me? I doubted it. The police hardly ever knew what the army was up to. Here I was in the clutches of the army with no hopes of any one coming to my rescue. Despair hit me hard. I would have been with Anita, I should have been with her but instead here I was sitting on the carpet of an empty room with no immediate hope of getting out of there. And then there was the fear, the fear of the door opening, army men rushing in and trying to beat the hell out of me. I glanced at the door but it was still closed. I lay there for a long time, don't remember how long, when the door opened. I looked fearfully at the man standing there. he was alone and he had a plate in his hand, a plate full of food. He put it down in front of me and left without saying a word.
I was not hungry at all, how could I be? But I couldn't help taking a look at the plate. There was some rice, just a little bit, by my standards, a couple of chapatis, a bowl of dal and some vegetables. If I had been hungry, I wouldn't have bothered to touch the plate.There was nothing in it which would have tempted my taste buds. In any case, the fact was, I had no desire for food.
I have no idea how long I sat there, thinking, my thoughts flitting like a butterfly, moving around from one place to another but mostly focused around Anita. In a few days time, we were going to get married, She had specially come all the way from Chandigarh, having full faith in me, trusting me fully, believing in me and here I was, sitting helplessly, unable to do anything.
Time passed by, I waited for my inquisitors to arrive but none came. Somebody came with a cup of tea, not Kehwa but Lipton Tea, as we, Kashmiris used to call it. Kehwa and Noon Chai were Kashmiri teas and the others were all Lipton, no matter which brand they might be. I could feel rumblings inside my stomach so I picked up the cup and drained it empty, almost in one gulp, it was not even hot. I thought of having a chapati and tried to pick one only to see that the plate was no longer there. Obviously, the person who brought the tea, had taken it away. No matter how sad, how depressed you are, you cannot survive without food for long. I had so much on my mind yet the pangs of hunger could not be driven away.
It started getting dark, there was no light in the room. I got up to switch on the lights but there seemed to be no power or maybe there were no electric bulbs in the room. It was too dark for me to check. This room must have been used only for interrogation so they did not feel the necessity of lights, Keeping a man in the dark is also a form of torture. I was in the dark, both literally as well as figuratively. Darkness increased my pain., made me feel more and more miserable. Would I ever be able to get out of here?
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